When I was home for Thanksgiving break, I came across an old notebook that my best friend and I used in highschool to write notes to each other. It was a fun way of keeping them all together. We just passed it back and forth. Sometimes it was filled with serious things, but most of the time it was just funny (especially the notebooks from 9th and 10th grade). I laughed when I read it because suddenly, everything that seemed so serious and important back then just seemed ridiculous and quite entertaining to read now. We wrote things like how worried we were that a boy didn’t like us (or maybe liked us too much) or how much a teacher frustrated us and how hard our math tests were. The notebooks had been opened and reopened so many times that they were beginning to fall apart. At the bottom of every page we would sign it, ❤ always or BFF. Today it feels like sometimes BFF”s are hard to find, almost completely gone.
Ironically, I think my prayer journals have been very similar to those notebooks. When my walk with Christ began, I affectionately called him my Best Friend. Now I’ve grown so much since then and while he is still my Best Friend, He’s also much more than that now. Because now I see that I was missing a huge piece of the character of God reflected in Christ: the holiness of God that should put fear into my soul.
Scripture is full of followers rendered speechless at God’s call, blinded at His nearing, and stilled by His mere presence. Isaiah tried to get a handle on it and write about what it was like when God’s glory flooded the temple. A few dity, old shepherds witnessed it in a stable in a small town in Israel. They were all flooded just like we too will be when we realize how holy God truly is; when our every heartbeat thumps in fear of that holiness.
Fearing our Lord doesn’t mean being afraid to trust Him or love Him. Fearing God is total reverence and respect for Someone who is holy, He cannot look on our sin. Fearing God is a beautiful place where our heart breaks at sin when His does. It’s realizing how small and frail I am and how much I need Him every day. Fearing God develops over time when we realize how BIG He is and how small we are. That’s when we begin to understand what it means to be holy, as He is holy.
God sees us differently than we see ourselves. From the second He takes up residence in our hearts, He begins changing them into His own. Only He can transform everything about us- the way we think, the way we feel, even the way we act around other people. Deep inside- closer than the breath we breathe and a heart that thumps in hythm- is a loving and holy God who sees more in us than we can ever see in ourselves.
The God who makes the stars shine, orchestrates the waves, and can turn mountains to dust is the same One who gave me laughter and tears, became the sacrifice for my sin, and created the universe. He’s my Best Friend. But as I grow closer to Him, I’m learning that’s only the beginning.